Ten Commandments to Raise a Socially Confident Child

Schooling today is through virtual mode. The teachers deliver the classes be it from the comfort of their own spaces or from anywhere and children learn without being in the same room with the teachers. However, the flip side of this situation is, there is hardly any socializing. Since there is no actual real-time socializing involved in digital learning, many first-time school-goers, pre-primary children who would have been otherwise experiencing real-time socially active school have been deprived of such experience. This vacuum or loss may take some time to be replenished. This lack of peer-to-peer interaction if carried on for long it may also affect the confidence level of children to have social, cooperative and collaborative skills.

Confidence is one of the best gifts a parent can give their child. Kids who lack confidence will be reluctant to try new or challenging things because they’re scared of presenting themselves in a social setup. The worst enemies of confidence are discouragement and fear. Hence it is so important to encourage and support our children in their formative years. 

Some vital awareness on raising a confident child:

1. Children need to have a realistic understanding of their strengths and weaknesses. To raise a confident child with a well-developed sense of self and healthy social skills much needs to be consciously taken care of in her growing years. Children should be capable of enjoying their strengths and working on their shortcomings. Besides, life also throws upon us both positive and negative experiences and situations. Parents, caregivers and teachers must not get over-protective but give opportunities to face them as life’s learning in a safe environment, where corrective measures can be taken.
2. Encourage their effort. Appreciate their endeavour- their process of trying. The journey is very important, not just the destination. Consistently trying hard builds more confidence than doing well just once in a while. Nothing will discourage your child more than criticising his or her efforts. Harsh criticism reduces the child’s self-valuing and motivation. Treat their mistakes as an opportunity for them to learn and grow.
3. Encourage them to solve the problems and do the work themselves. Never help a child in the task in which the child is capable of doing it himself advised Maria Montessori. An adult if does the hard work for their children, then they’ll never develop the abilities or the confidence to figure out problems on their own. Confidence derived from self-help and figuring it out on their own will help them go a long way. Giving useful feedback and making suggestions will build their confidence to be bold. We may offer our help and support, but never too much.
4. Encourage their talents- Encourage your child to practice whatever it is they’re interested in. To raise a confident child, encourage his or her talents. Recognize your child’s special talents and help her build on them. Enjoying one activity boosts a child’s self-image, and this carries over into other endeavours. For instance, encouraging a child’s enjoyment of some sports while supporting him as he works on the academics which he might be lesser in, will improve his overall self-confidence and this confidence will gradually be carried on to his other areas too. The whole person will blossom sooner or later.
5. Encourage children to achieve realistic, age-appropriate targets. An unrealistic standard may discourage a child’s confidence and effort. Let the child strive to meet age-appropriate targets. Too much-advanced expectations can reduce confidence. Expecting children to act and perform with perfection or like an adult will only make them less confident.
6. Encourage curiosity- Asking questions is a helpful exercise for a child’s development. A child’s endless stream of questions can be tiresome, but it should be encouraged and always attended to very thoughtfully. We can nurture their confidence by increasing their inquisitiveness.
7. Open the door to new experiences-As adults, let us give opportunities to our children to increase life exposures and experiences, to deal with various situations so that they can develop confidence in coping with a larger world. Exposing children to new things teaches them that however scary and different something seems, they can conquer it and enduring these challenges increases their resilience. 
8. Encourage them to engage with real people in the real world – Allowing them to spend all their time on the internet will detach them from real people and real situations. Confidence in the virtual world, although important, is not the same as real-world confidence. 
9. Developing valuable social character traits. Social skills are promoted within an educational setting by embedding in the subjects taught the essential cardinal values and developing these valuable character traits such as friendship, helpfulness, thankfulness, kindness, empathy, large-heartedness and a positive self-image. We need to help develop kind children, kind schools, kind communities and kind societies. With these cardinal values strongly in place, a child will be able to navigate confidently and compassionately in society.
10. Developing better and stronger communication skills. The ability to communicate effectively with others is a core social skill. If you have strong communication skills, you’ll be able to share your thoughts and ideas clearly with others. Effective communicators also make good leaders.It is one single most important way to develop a child to grow socially confident. What we say is influenced by the way we use the tone, tenor, volume of our speech and the words we chose to use, as well as by our body language, gestures, our ability to listen respectfully to what others also have to say and such other subtle nuances of a balanced social being.

It is strong, valid research available that proves to teaching social skills to children has lasting benefits. It is so vital to discipline and raise a socially confident child in today’s times. With a strong sense of well-being created by early nurturing, a child is likely to grow up to be a confident child.