It is good to have a robust sense of the self and be confident of the competencies we have developed in us to face the challenges of life. Our home upbringing, our school nurturing, the lessons, values, richness and goodness of our natural everyday experiences, and the ups and downs we face strengthen our inner core. In the process, we learn to take the changes of life with grace and grit.
Responsibilities of the school, parents and society to develop a child’s overall personality.
The responsibility of best play school in delhi has always been not just to develop the intellectual skills of a child, not just the aptitude or the physical smartness but the attitude and mental wellbeing, the character and the overall personality. Our goal as a school has been to help students develop their personalities on all levels. Schools have always been making a sincere effort to raise strong and resilient children. However, at times it is sad to perceive our children grow into delicate and fragile beings. The tendency of our society is also to support this inclination.
Be aware of what role models we are for our children.
What children observe in their daily context is likely to have an impact on their social behaviour. Out in society, people tend to flex their muscles at the drop of a hat and get into a scuffle on a small pretext. Fights are so commonly seen everywhere around us, be it on a flight, on road, in the offices or even on school campuses fights are not spared. This tendency we see in our young growing children too, which is a dangerous trend. These seem to be signs of frailty not signs of strong personalities.
Children emulate the social behaviour of their surroundings.
Youngsters are seen not being able to develop their coping mechanisms, to face situations which are different from their expectations, for setbacks, disappointments and defeat. Do these tendencies have some connection with their upbringing or the examples we are demonstrating? We need to introspect. Children must be given the freedom to experience occasional sadness or disappointment and grow more resilient.
Parents are too quick to jump to the rescue of children.
Children are no longer experiencing the natural amounts of failure and success or lessons learned from trial and error because parents have become so aggressively protective. Parents today make desperate attempts to shield their children from everyday naturally occurring setbacks. Simple situations such as a child’s lack of a significant role in a play, his or her exclusion from the school cricket team, or the fact that other kids have not included him or her in the group all become severe issues. Rather than being given time to work on their skills to EARN for themselves the opportunities, parents are there to jump to their rescue.
Allow children to be themselves, and give them some space to sharpen their life skills.
If schools are allowed, if parents trust them to do the job, more justice could be done for the children’s independent growth and development. Parents need to allow children to be themselves. Parents fear all the time that their child may do something dreadful if forced to endure difficult situations. The sadness is that kids are choosing to do awful things at times over what seems to be a frivolous issue.
Let them fall and stand up on their own.
Let us give our children a chance to learn and unlearn on their own, let them fall and stand up on their own. Researches have shown, young adults who have over-involved parents experience a lesser ability to regulate their emotions and lesser satisfaction with life. Their inadequately developed life skills fail them, as parents hardly allow them to mature and sharpen those abilities. Parents need to stop shielding their young ones from the hardships of life.
Spoiling can be in more ways.
It is said a youngster when pampered with too many material possessions can be spoiled. But spoiling can be in more ways, it can also occur when parents attempt to maintain the child’s perpetual happiness and good spirits. An upbringing free from all the negativities, with only roses and roses, all around will doom the child’s future since they have not learnt to face the thorns, the adversity, which will come to everyone sooner or later as life is not always a bed of roses. In other words, eliminating all of the negative aspects is not a wise or natural thing to do.
Must a child receive praise all the time?
Children do need to be encouraged with positive words and propelled towards the path of growth and development but an overdose of all this sweetness may at times be bitter. Why must children not be made to understand that there are emotions such as sadness, disappointment, dissatisfaction etc. apart from happiness and joy as well? Why are teachers unable to reprimand a child on the spot without fear of being held accountable for lowering the child’s self-esteem? One faulty step or a wrong move on the part of a teacher triggers off a series of events that result in counsellors and senior members of the school flying to intervene and assist the distressed child.
A child needs to learn to accept criticism and not take offence at such insignificant remarks. Every child must learn to defend their beliefs and voice their ideas when it counts most, when they are truly relevant, not simply because their ego is hurt or for some flimsy reasons. Children need to be made aware of these issues. Children are not too young to understand. They do understand very well, if we connect with them wisely. Some youngsters handle these situations with grace and dignity.
A school can be a levelling force up only to a point.
Students are expected to wear the same uniform and their learning environment is common to all. However, they cannot be shielded from the ways of society. There are expensive parties, foreign trips, designer wear and so on. It is important to sensitize children to these issues. It is the responsibility of parents to see that their child is comfortable in his or her own identity. There is nothing wrong if we are unable to afford them. The young must be taught to face the reality of an unequal world. It’s important to have a strong sense of self and not simply be proud of only pricey possessions and fancy lifestyles.
Usually, if something were to go wrong, the school would prove useful to blame.
Teenage sadness, anxiety, and panic attacks are all put on the school’s shoulders. The blame is generally on the “system”. It is labelled as the system is too demanding, there is an excessive amount of pressure, or an insufficient amount of preparation- too less tests or too many tests, the other students in the class are not helpful, the teachers are partial, and so on. Separate WhatsApp groups have been an easy space to exchange such chats endlessly. Fodder for such talks is endless.
In such a scenario, we need to seriously stop and think. There is nothing more important than good and strong value-based parenting. It is ultimately the quality of parenting and education that the child receives that will propel our children-the apple of our eyes to a successful career and a happy, significant place in society. Let us help our children evolve to be strong and resilient personalities.
We have created an excellent environment by putting them in the care of able and compassionate teachers and by facilitating their exposure to as many different opportunities as possible. Just that we need the parents to be on the same page and work on the same platform with the school. Let us give them the best start in life.
Dr G. S. Matharoo
Chairman
Prudence Group of Schools